So the above picture is of a rock group called Rage Against the Machine. I have to be honest I’ve never listened to any of their stuff, but I seem to recall they knocked an X-factor winner off the Christmas number 1 a few years ago with lots of SHOUTING, which is highly pertinent to my topic for today…….menopausal RAGE!!! ( I fear I should be pointing out the naked guy on the left, but actually my only thought is that he should pull his trousers up!!)
It’s a weird one this. I’ve never been one for even arguing at home. So my other half has always been able to do as they want in life, and I’ve done what I want. My parents divorced when I was 13 and I laid in bed listening to them arguing every night for about a year, hence my dislike of it then. In my previous career I argued for a living as a litigation lawyer, so I then REALLY didn’t want to argue at home. So it was with a level of surprise that a couple of years ago I started losing my shit over stuff, and I am talking proper losing it. Not often, to be fair the massive blow outs only happen a couple of times a year, but I more regularly find myself just losing my shit in a smaller way. Usually at the mess left around the house because my husband and kids seem to lose the use of their arms at times. my daughter leaving her makeup on the floor, my son leaving every toy he possesses on the floor, my husband leaving his part worn cycling kit in various piles by the side of the bed and (forgive me) his sweaty helmet in the utility room, instead of the garage (still better there than in the bedroom!!!) There are times when a burglar would have to tidy up before they could rob the house. This makes me really quite cross. WHY DO THE PANTS GO NEXT TO THE WASHING BASKET, WHY WHY WHY???????
I figured it out tonight I think, which is just that we all have a box marked “shit” and along with a hormonal imbalance during menopause, we’ve also generally reached an age where the “shit” box is just full, no more space for that shit, so you can’t store it any more and you just have to let it go….. I have:
- Punched cushions
- Screamed at the top of my voice whilst driving (not at others)
- Called other motorists names that I would not want to repeat here
- Cried with anger
- Shouted at the kids
- Shouted at my husband
If you haven’t done all of these do you even dare to call yourself a menopausee!!
It’s like Animal of the Muppets has taken residence in my head and things that didn’t bother me previous JUST DO!!!!
I recently stayed up until 12.30am building a model of Shakespear’s Globe theatre (courtesy of my daughter remembering her homework at 9pm the night before it was due in!!) The next morning I was really tired (insomnia is another joy of the menopause) and I shouted at my daughter so loud, that she didn’t speak to me for 3 days, my son burst in to tears and my husband admitted he was scared……….still he cooked tea that night!! In truth I think I scared myself that I could lose it so badly, but tiredness, frustration and constantly changing hormone levels does that to you.
I saw something on FB saying that sometimes we all have to lose our shit, because if we didn’t, eventually we would just explode and there would be shit every where!!! I take comfort in that LOL.
So there we go, just enjoy the flow and let it all out. Embrace the rage, get that bin bag out and put all your families shit in it and put it on the lawn. I haven’t done it yet, but it is just a matter of time.
Love Meena xx
PS homework is scored on a -3 to +3 basis, I got a 2+ for my theatre – quite pleased with that!!